Greg defends the band from [...] charges:

"We play just about every day. Our output is a small fraction of what we experiment with. If we put out everything we experimented with on cassette or album, that would be self-indulgent."

added after the factz killaz,
from black flag interview (?) pg. 20 of option music alternatives may/june 1985

A common theme (working on it.) the 24th

Marine Girls: “look down at the people smiling waving hankercheifs to the sky clouds hang over the hills and mountains glassgow airport says goodbye behind the iron curtain across the berlin wall no news no word can reach us there’s no one there at all I’m flying over russia looking where no man can go I’m flying over russia looking down on russian snow through the crusty window looking at the gods below just how happy are they that’s something I’ll never know now the hills and valleys give way to icy glades I see the rising smoke from the eastern border trains I’m flying over russia looking where no man can go I’m flying over russia looking down on russian snow”. I look around, no one seems to like this group as much as me. That’s weird. We’re on a huge cruise ship. “it’s a reunion tour”. That’s what its all about. A bit ago me and some friends made this child John be born inside a few canvasses attached together to form a cube. I’ve got the specs somewhere. Anyway he stayed in there for some years, just a telephone I guess. It was real bad or something, but we did it for money and we got that. Now we’re all out and everyone’s crazy for all of us, i.e. we’re celebrities. So we just party all the time. There were a bunch of fucks, but by the end most of them left and there was john, two french girls, my girlfriend Alex, some others I don’t really remember. The french girls were lesbians they used to call him as they fucked and let him listen that’s how he picked up english and now he lies all the time or he did last time I talked to him its been a long time I shouldn’t have left you without a dope beat to step to step to step to now step to chica chica chica baby girl uh. The first time I talked to him I called him to see if he wanted to play this game we used to play in there. That’s right we did the John thing to get money for this game we played with our eyes and these sticks and these boards. We’d have these wooden boards of varying shapes and sizes with holes of varying shapes and sizes cut in them and we would use specifically shaped and sized sticks I’ve got the specs somewhere and we would take out one of our eyes and push it with the stick from one end of the board to the other. It was really important to all of us, which was just me by the end. The girls didn’t do that of course. I don’t even know where alex was during any of this shit. It was just me by the end, by the end john was out and we did that. That was real important for me. It was a really okay period, it was good. Uh.

A common theme (working on it.) the 23rd

Okay okay I watch too much teevee okay okay I’m illiterate. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” Someone’s father looks on in awe and delight. Meant. That I just. Someone can’t get something out. Someone doesn’t know what someone means. Someone else.

A common theme (working on it.) the 22nd

“This is my time I swear.” I’m here and so are both of them, I wish something. He’s hear, big, or something, made small by, something, here though, and hugely. The other is talking, ever so. He’s saying this, this, this. Is there a grimace? Anywhere? Its not big.

A common theme (working on it.) the 21st

Ripped and stuff. We are up we wake up. There’s stuff around there’s junk around. We pick up the slang, here. We pick up things, and take them. Somewhere, something. We feel. Or not. Anyway, she’s still right next to me. I’m not sure if they’re really here, sleeping, or not. It’s a. Situation. We leave. We’re gone.

A common theme (working on it.) the 20th

Can I hold on. “It’s a thin line.” He’s doing a. He’s doing a great job he’s really. He’s a moron. She won’t shut up. We’re here for the. Its time. Its fortune. We’re all very fortunate. We’re all very wealthy. Middle class. We don’t talk about things. Like that. We don’t like that. On another. Here we are. I smile. I smile because I’m rich. Right now. Right. Correct now. That is correct, now.

A common theme (working on it.) the 19th

To our statement our situation again, lets get this out. We are on the top, looking all over at lights and water. She’s wearing. Something. I’m concerned with what’s in my pocket. What’s in my clothes. What are my clothes in. My concerns rest squarely. She looks and says. nothing but her mouth opens and I am excited. I kiss her and she likes it. I stop and look some more. I wish there was some noise. I tell her this. She starts to say something. She’s been with me since forever so doesn’t. I love her. I say, I think we’ll be in soon. I wish she would move first, I want her to leave – I won’t even look at her, either way. We’re here, I pick up a beer. She starts to laugh. We’re good, everything. Someone starts to move and I say, Look. We really do see something, somehow.

A common theme (working on it.) the 18th

Corporation. Everybody gets in, come in. We come in. She’s there, good. He’s somewhere, anything. I’m not sure what she looks like; she says she’s ugly; that’s good enough for me. We do something, finally come in. What’s out there? He is. We laugh, are tired out. That’s enough for us. I ask her “Do you love me?” She doesn’t turn her head. I tell her “I like this kind of life.” She says “me too.” That’s good enough. That’s really good.

A common theme (working on it.) the 17th

“Can I get?” I look at my. She’s over me. Hovering.

A common theme (working on it.) the 15th

He’s the closest one. I’m still trying to hear what he has to say. He leans towards me, “Over the course of many years I have developed an acute awareness and understanding of my surroundings.” My face shows the strain I am faced with in understanding the depth of this announcement. He turns away. His face casts a shadow on the cell wall. He cries out, “I can’t!” I touch his shoulder, not knowing. He turns back, tears in his eyes. “Young man.”

A common theme (working on it.) the 14th

Paul Container wants to be promising he’s spinning without regard he’s regarding. The faith. He tells me. He tells all. He shouts from the top of the mountain, “Leave your things.” “Tune to channel four.” He is a protagonist. He has a tattoo. He has a mountain and a parking lot. We go to it, he shows me. He spreads out his arms, says “All this.” I say “It is quite a lot.” I don’t understand his motives. He says, “It could all be”. I say “Go on,” as he has stopped abruptly; he sees something. I look behind me but too late! He’s promising me. He’s me.

A common theme (working on it.) the 13th

To shine gently “Divine” Get off the phone. She doesn’t listen. She’s out buying buying sell sell. In short (he’s alive). Get off the phone. “nothing interests you.” To shine divinely. You too,. Please, gently, get off me. “She laughs.” “nothing interests you.” I can’t get. Up. O. With adequate fuel, we should be able to. He pokes me, seemingly. Or prods. Gently. With divine. He tells me to get up, to get off the phone, that nothing interests me. We go to the mall to get sneakers. He says, “All laced up?” He means something. He says nothing. We’re on the way back. “Divine.”

A common theme (working on it.) the 12th

We get off the boat and someone leads us back into the bar. I say “This, this is a laugh.” John, the boy what lived inside canvas for so many years is here; the two French girls; a lot of the art scene, a few surprises. Its what 1970? 1965? Its confusing, now. A lot of people are here, and its all a lot different from what I expected. I say “This, this is a goddamn laugh.” I’m drinking heavily. I’m glad this place is big”, I lapse. I see someone, but this is no rag. Its 1965. Its 1965.

A common theme (working on it.) the 11th

INTRODUCING:. He tries to remember, . “Forget it,” I try to help. I wish there was a way out,’ someone starts. Someone starts and everyone gets on. ‘Help me,” she says getting on. I give her a look of sheer hatred. She looks at me. We’re making it! Oh, now. Who said that? John: “I’m glad we’re going back.” I hate to tell him. The girls ‘ll kill me. I’ll . The girls ‘ll kill ‘em. John: “I’m glad we’re all going back.” He’s gotta know something. I see a waiter and raise something. Have something. (I haven’t had a drink since “Today we are going to bear witness)”. to another day’, I think. John’ll kill me, I goddamn know it. The Marine Girls reunion: who would. Everything but everything, I think. Everygoddamnthing.

A common theme (working on it.) the 10th

Imperialism. She’s trying to get me to think about something. I don’t look at her. I’m looking at something. She can’t hear me. I tell her a name. She asks me if I’m listening to her. I look at her and laugh; something comes out of my mouth and gets all over. She says “I’m leaving.”

A common theme (working on it.) the 9th

“Keep it up, Jesus.” He gives me a goofy look and I know I’m in for it. We start, and one two three Keep your goddamn pants on. She telephones and is angry . That I ask where she is, not how she is. She’s lucky I don’t ask her who she is,. She tells me she’ll be home in time for. I ask her what? But it seems as if the moments gone. He’s still here, and now I have to start keeping up. What? It seems as if a lot of people are whispering into my ear, which doesn’t seem quite right. Someone agrees with me, or . Wants something.

A common theme (working on it.) the 8th

“can’t have my” – I try to remember. It. Seems as though I’ve been doing this all day. All of all in, I’m looking for words. Said? I can’t tell if she’s asking me. I can’t tell the parameters. She’s lowering her eyes. I’m slowly. I’m slowly distinguishing her features. She tells me she loves me, at least I think. She tells me “She loves me.” I have a hard time hearing. My features are going in and out, in and out. She is groping at me in the dark. We laugh and share. Finally. She says, “Really”. I don’t know if she’s asking me or telling me. We go on. Is ours. She agrees that we’re glad? I don’t understand a goddamn thing she says anymore. I can see the strain I put.

A common theme (working on it.) the 7th

It’s a system?” Hardly, he confirms. He declines dinner with me, doing things to a . I’ve never seen before. He confides in me, he does things to me? AM I HEARING THIS? Going down, someone tells me. I start to regret something. Here am I, forever together. She hasn’t heard. Sell it, sell it. Jim, have you seen her? He asks if I’m singing a song, He asks if I’m singing his song. I don’t have anywhere to look. I go? I don’t know. She follows me into a corner. I tell her, “How do we get out of here?” I’m practically going blind! She doesn’t hear me. I hear – “you think you’ve got it bad!” We’re all going rich in here, we confirm. He’s looking good, he asks jokingly, “Who’s steering this thing.” I say, We’re getting off. He says, “We’re all getting rich.”

A common theme (working on it.) the 6th

“Really”: here, one at a time, we recede. She’s telling me this? I ask her, “She’s telling me this?” The look she gives me. If I could record the look she gives me. I lift something up, say something. The act, the words, become one. She wonders, “When will we be getting in?” I tell her she is beautiful, . She asks, “When do you think we’ll be getting in” – aloud! Allowing that the wind continues, I begin. I glance into the depths, I tell her. We’re forgotten, I muse. His apron barely – I interrupt. Brand. New. Replacements, industry. “I didn’t know it was going to be this kind of boat ride.” She keeps looking. I say, “hello!” Its good to be, William? He’s broke.

A common theme (working on it.) the 5th

So you do this now, [inaudible] for a living? I look at him, “Please,” I don’t recall how I say this, why. I tell him, If you just need and he cuts me off IF I JUST NOTHING, I can smell it now, coming out of him. He tells me something about my father, I DON’T UNDERSTAND. Is it comic now? What it is. On my way to California I stop to see some relatives. I go to the movie theatre and sit in the cool, come out clean. Next time I see the barman I tell him it could have been eight hours or eight years, he doesn’t look. I tell him, good luck with th[inaudible]. He says, “Would you consider” celebrities. Who needs? Apple bomb? WHO NEEDS THIS. Like someone wants my advice…

A common theme (working on it.) the 4th

Keeping my voice down – quite a quite a Professionalism, someone behind a desk behind glass and wires tells me. I try not even to breath – if that was easy - , not knowing where I am. I know just where I am, I try to tell them. I try to hate them, to not be them. I can’t tell. I keep going places, I don’t know much. Money pours in though, from the. From the. I’m at a loss. He seems to be at a rare loss for. For penance? I don’t even know what that means. I guess I got that dagger back?” I say Excuse me? I REALLY DON’T THINK THIS IS RIGHT, as if he can adjust something.

A common theme (working on it.) the 3rd

She really doesn’t have anything, I venture to the man behind the bar. I imagine he should have his name engraved on plastic engraved on a labcoat engraved on his meager frame. He’s looking at me, he’s got nothing in him. Is this correct? I ask him, Is this proper syntax? I wish he would say something that starts like, “This is what it all boils down to…” Instead someone else hands me a bill, the place seems to light up, I ask about last call, next thing I know I’m on the curb, and guess who I’m with? He says, I’m really alright, and I can’t tell anything. He’s wearing something I recognize, he’s not wearing a goddamn thing. “used to cut up their buddies”, goes by. I look in, hoping. So he tells me what we’re going to do, and he knows what we’re thinking. He’s alive.

A common theme (working on it.) the 2nd

He doesn’t know that – and they mean to. Or is it incidental? I ask this, turning around, in a sing-song. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I don’t know what they’re thinking. They are working for the weekend. They are working for the immortal dollar. I’m a rocafella soldier. A soldier at arms. My arms ache from days without water. I tell her, I think its called an Immortal Affair? She looks at me sideways, like sure you’re right. I get in the car, does the cigarette lighter even work? He hands me something, I can’t tell you one thing. He’s finding me, he’s fiending me, he’s fiending for me. I am so sweet, he tells me. I am so sweet. He could just. We’re running. We’re running. Me and my.

A common theme (working on it.) the first

Keeping up with her, I never worry. Keeping itself, I think of it as, I assume myself to be. She calls me and I hear a noise. Is it her voice or a . devices named give us something to live by? ‘I have a hard time with’. All of these (repeat, repeat, repeat). These are the things we start to say as. The facts: the facets: she wants nothing. I honestly believe. Here is how I go about it. 1st – primarily, we will try to understand what she will do. (If anything, (I say hello, I say hello Alice, she says)). ‘Really,’ and I hear something in her voice, finally! Finally, as she never sees me again. I laugh when I think things like that (false), but it really makes sense (is worthwhile, to me). Meanwhile, just an across town away across away which. William constantly drinks (and doesn’t know a thing about). He’s caught up with me, he guesses (we know better!). I’ve a whole team.

about

written (first entry) june 12th, 2005
others, the days, week leading up to july 22nd